Plumping for the latter, they head on over to a nearby mill to wait for the cavalry and find a young boy loitering who informs them that the sheriff can be found at home. Either they discard the body and leave it for the buzzards to snack on or report this unfortunate incident to the local police and continue on their merry way having done a good turn. The group now have one of two choices to make. As far as omens go, this one’s bad to the very bone. 357 Magnum and proceeds to blow her brains out on the back seat. They decide to do the Christian thing and offer her a ride, but before they can ascertain what has her so soundly spooked, the stranger produces a. Things take an unexpected turn for the worse when they pass through Texas and happen across a distressed young lady (Lauren German) wandering aimlessly along the roadside babbling incoherently. The year is 1973 and five fun-seeking friends – Erin (Jessica Biel) her boyfriend Kemper (Eric Balfour) and their buddies Morgan (Jonathan Tucker), Pepper (Erica Leerhsen), and Andy (Mike Vogel) – are en route to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in Kemper’s camper van after making a pit stop to Mexico to pick up some hash. Thus perspective is our friend here as it still manages to capture the despair of winding up off the beaten track in an ever-spiraling nightmare and that’s job done in my book. Let’s be frank here, it was always going to prove a tough ask living up to such an untouchable force of nature as Hooper’s original. However while that may be the case, it’s a decent enough effort when taken on its own terms. Effectively little more than a modern-day slasher, it boils down to a group of beautiful teens being placed in extreme peril, and all the usual bells and whistles recognizable from a Bay production are present and correct. Indeed there’s an undeniable sheen to Nispel’s film that doesn’t sit comfortably with me. I’ll hold my hands up to harboring some pretty severe doubts myself as the thing that made the original so unforgettable was its raw depiction of blind terror and it seemed highly unlikely that this would make the transition intact. That didn’t stop the naysayers from sharpening their knives however and it was generally deemed unnecessary. Marcus Nispel was drafted in to direct and over $100 million in box office receipts suggested a job well done. In 2003, he tackled Tobe Hooper’s 1974 exploitation classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and long-suffering fans of this ailing franchise were instantly up in arms on receipt of the news that he would be on production duties. The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street have all been provided a fresh lick of paint under his supervision, and while none have been held in particularly lofty esteem, they’ve each gone on to turn a profit. In addition to the big-budget blockbusters he churns out for fun, he also happens to be co-owner of production house Platinum Dunes, which has been responsible for a number of modern horror reboots. Granted, his movies rely largely on elaborate special effects and frequent explosions, but there’s a demographic out there simply crying out for more of the same and Bay sees no reason to feel guilty for giving them what they crave. That said, a little appreciation for all that hard work and endeavor certainly wouldn’t go amiss. Besides, if insomnia strikes, he can always take his $50 million Gulfstream G550 jet out for a spin so the last laugh is invariably his.
Does he lose a wink of sleep at night? I highly doubt it considering they have collectively grossed in excess of $5 billion worldwide. The American filmmaker tends to be rather rough-handed by the media, and of the dozen or so films he has directed, virtually none have been kindly received by critics. It’s hard not to feel a little bad for Michael Bay.
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